Hello dear readers , another week has passed and here we are doing Matt Mascarenhas Word Challenge . Have you tried it yet ? Details can be found on Matt's blog http://miblodelcarpio.blog.co.uk/ . Basically , the object is to write an article or story and include all the winning words from todays Countdown TV programme .
Todays words are ;
MASHING , REPROVE , GOITRED , CAKE , DOSES , TAUNTER , TOURED , REAPERS , SPITES , BALDING, SPOILER .
Send In The Clowns
Back in the day I toured with a travelling circus . I had no real talent for any of the traditional circus skills , but I could dance a little and looked good in a leotard . So, there I was , six nights a week and twice on Saturdays , in me sparkly tights and pink tutu , dancing round with the clown , who was , in reality, a goitred , balding old man with wandering hands . He must have been about 90 . This really was a crummy circus , I mean , to call it second rate would be praising it far beyond its worth . All the performers were right old has beens , well past their best . I was the youngest there , the bloomin' baby ! We had no decent costumes or equipment because the owner was a right old skinflint . I had to sit after each performance , mending the rips in me tights and stuff , because the mean old bugger wouldnt cough up for new ones . The elephant handler was usually lying drunk nearby after imbibing huge doses of whisky . There he'd be , snoring and grunting like the pig he was . The old clown used to sneak away from his caravan and try to woo me , while his missus was preparing dinner for the whole company. She'd be mashing potatoes to top the Shepherds pie we had every blooming night . She hated me , I'd often see her at the grubby window , waiting for the bread to rise , or cutting slices of cake . The old clown often told me that she was a terrible taunter and would often reprove him for the slightest thing ,
" She spites me whenever she can ", he whined . I wasnt surprised , he really was 'orrible and I dont think he ever washed .
The worst part of my act was when I had to pirouette round him and pretend to fall over into his arms . He was supposed to catch me and then drop me and all the kids would laugh and giggle at my misfortune . Well , this particular night I was prancing about , trying to delay the moment when I had to get close to him when he just keels over , I mean flat on the floor . Dead as a bloomin' dead thing ! Heart attack !
After the funeral the circus owner said not to worry , he would ask his nephew to come over from the next town . He could fill in for the old clown ,till a replacement was found . So , sure enough, this car turns up , roaring down the lane past the fields of reapers . I remember the car , it had a spoiler on its boot and I remember thinking to myself ,
'He's gonna be a bit flash for a clown ' Well out he gets , gives me a wink and dashes into the bosses caravan . He must 've been 30ish , quite dishy too .
So, there we are doing our act slap bang in the middle of the ring while Glenda goes round and round on that horse of hers , blooming old nag it was . Well I get to the part where I have to fall into the clowns arms so I do a quick twirl and pretend to slip and ....well he up and kisses me full on the lips ! I mean , a REAL kiss and he didnt stop there ! Fair took my breath away 'e did ! Well all the Mums and Dads start covering their kids faces because they ain't never seen such things , not in a family show . Old Glenda fell off 'er horse in shock and the lion tamer had to drag us out of the ring .
Yeah , me an' the clown left that crummy circus the next morning ................ I wonder where he is now .
Ok love , a double whopper cheese burger twice ,was it . Do you want fries with that ?