Saturday, 22 October 2011

Choices .

Our lives are shaped by the choices we make and can be changed on a whim ; the snap of a finger or the blink of an eye .
If only we hadn't driven  'that ' way home , we would not have had that accident ; flat tyre ; run out of petrol .
If only we had taken the train instead of the bus we wouldn't have missed the job interview . The one that could have meant a new career , a new direction .
What would have happened if we had said  "Yes" instead of  "No" , or vice versa ?
And if we hadn't been in a certain place at a certain time we would never have met our  partners , best friends , long lost relations , whatever !
The wonderings and  "What if..." s go on in a never ending list .
I often wonder if I would do things differently if I had the chance to try again . Or would I make the same decisions , choose the same path ? Of course , I am assuming I would have the chance to make these choices with the benefit of hindsight . That would be the easy way . Wouldn't we all change  "something" if we could ? Or perhaps you are all so contented  with your lives that you would do it all again exactly as before ?
Its enticing to imagine that we could choose another direction , but,  of course, our choices have a  "knock on " effect . They involve other peoples lives too . If I had done things differently I may not have my children and delightful grand children , my dogs and my friends . But would I have another ,  different family ?  I will never know .
I am wrestling with some difficult choices now , we all  do every day . Whatever I decide , it will shape my life in the future . I made choices so lightly in the past , with all the carelessness of youth . But now I  am older I have come to realise how one little decision can change everything .
I would love to hear what you think . Would you change anything ? Do you have regrets ?
I have  thought carefully about those questions and  have decided that , in the main , there is very little I would change . Just the odd thing , here and there . Although , perhaps in the 80s , I  wouldn't have had a green streak in my hair !!


  1. Oh that gets you thinking doesn't it. Seriously regret marrying my Sons Dad, but then as you say wouldn't have had son, but then you wouldn't know anyway. Wish now I could go back and do everything differently from about age 15. I do realise I am fortunate as there are always other people in a worse position. I hope whatever your decision is it turns out well for you. Are you able to make a list of 'pros and cons', sometimes it helps. Take care, Gillian xxx

  2. It certainly does get you thinking. I don't believe in regrets the choices you make right or wrong you make at that time because you believe they are the right ones or the only ones you could make. I'm not saying i've had or have the perfect life because thats not true but i honestly believe that those choices, make you who you are and if you have people and animals around you who love you then you're not doing to bad :) xx

  3. One thing I wish I'd done is keep the phone number (or business card, whatever it was) of this sound engineer who had recorded our school orchestra when I was about ten or eleven. I was playing bass, and he evidently thought I was good. When I was a little further on in school, I would have then tried to get some work experience with him.

    I also regret not having left the ukrainian band for which I played bass as soon as I realised it was doing nothing whatsoever for me.

    Other than that, I couldn't really change anything without effecting / losing other people. Not even dropping out of college at the start of the second year. I think a break from education was what I needed at the time, and would possibly have gone even more insane had I continued with it.

    Oh! I regret not reading more. I've really slacked off of late, and am only just now picking up ye olde momentum again.

    (All these regrets, eh!)

    The important thing, though, is not to rush into decisions. Deliberate over them, turn them over in your mind, and eventually settle on the one that feels most right for you. That way you will be able to put your all into it, and even if it doesn't work out, you will at least have tried your best.

  4. Hi! I loved this blog post! The title 'Choices' really drew me in. I've thought about that kind of thing before, and I've come to the conclusion that what's meant to be will be. Sometimes I think that maybe I should do more things, and be more confident, but I guess it comes with age. Lovely post. Lots of love, Ss1. xx

  5. some things I'd change, but then we're great at remembering the duff things but not so good at remembering the good things; but always think we make decisions based on the information we have at that time and better to make a decision than none at all. Good luck with whatever you decide, and as long as you know it was right for you then it's all good xx

  6. A terrific thought provoking blog, and excellent comments too! I completely agree with PaulaGriff I honestly do not regret any decision I have ever made! That's not to say my life has been perfect, and I have certainly had my share of misfortune and misery, but I do believe that it has all helped to make me into the person I am, and as I am happy in my skin, I am happy with my choices! I hope that you won't rush into making a wrong decision, if you're not sure, don't do anything! I was once told to ask the Universe for help! It sounds bonkers, but I did and it worked! You have to ask for what you want, but remember to add "in a perfect way" so that when you get whatever it is you seek, it won't cause any injury to anyone else that you might not have considered! Yeah alright I am a bit of a hippy! You got me!

  7. Thank you all for your comments. So interesting to hear your thoughts .
    I also regret very little. I am who I am and don't wish to change things. Even illness has made me stronger , more resilient.
    I have had a very interesting , diverse life and have no wish to be anyone else.
    As Lucymargaretjane said , I am happy in my own skin.
    Thank you for reading my blog posts. .... Oh, and I have made my decision.