Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Peril.

So, did you see it............. did you ............ that photo of  'yours truly' in the newspaper ? Oh, my stars, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry !
You see, it all happened yesterday . There I was , home alone and desperately in need of some  TLC. I had wandered into the kitchen and looked at the pile of dishes and pans that had been dumped on the worktop  (why is it no-one ever reloads the dishwasher ? ) and something just snapped.

                           " No ! ",  I thought, " I need some  'me-time'  "

It had been a hard week and I felt that I had had my ration of problems and just wanted to climb into a hole and disappear. But, of course, I couldn't do that and so I thought,

                           " Yeah, I will have a lovely, luxurious bath, with bubbles up to my chin and some music on the old iPod "

I made some toast and coffee and took it upstairs  to the bathroom, ran the bath; pouring in a liberal amount of my favourite L'Occitane bath lotion, selected two of my fluffy, sable and cream coloured bathtowels , pinned up my hair and, dropping my clothes onto the floor, I sank into dreamy, rose-scented, bubbly oblivion.
I must have been lounging there for about twenty minutes,  Prince blaring in my ears , with me singing along at the top of voice,

                            ".......... all I need is your extra time and your...... mwah, mwah, mwah mwah.....kissss ! "

when a fireman came bursting into the bathroom ! He was gesticulating wildly and saying something, but, of course, with old  'Squiggle' blasting my eardrums, I couldn't hear a thing he said.
Before I could pull the earplugs out he grabbed the downier of the two towels, lifted me out of the bubbles and the next thing I knew I was over his shoulder and he was tearing down the stairs, through my smoke-filled hall and out into the garden !  He was certainly not the puniest guy I've ever seen, I could feel his muscles through his thick uniform ....... mmmm .....*sigh*.
Oh, but sorry, I digress ! It seems that my toaster had not switched off properly and somehow  'shorted out' and caught fire, igniting nearby spatulas and some plastic mixing bowls, which had sent clouds of smoke billowing out of the open window . One of my nosier neighbours had telephoned the fire brigade and the rest, as they say, is history !
Just picture the scene, dear reader. My wonderful fireman rushed down the garden path, with me clinging on to him for dear life ( and, I have to say, loving every minute ! ) Well, the lilac tree by the gate has needed cutting back for quite some time ; the towel caught on a particularly spiky branch and ...... well....... that is how I came to be photographed and appeared on page 3 of the national newspaper !!
I was so embarrassed !! Who wouldn't be ?  I mean, there was I , stark naked in front of the world and my bloody toe-nail polish was chipped ...... !


This piece of nonsense is my rather pathetic entry for this weeks word game , invented by Matt Mascarenhas and includes the words ;

            Toaster, Said, Tearing, Ration, Nosier, Hole, Sable, Downier, Home, Reloads, Puniest.

Please do take part, the rules etc. can all be found on Matt's blog page http://miblodelcarpio.blog.co.uk/

2 comments:

  1. OOh I love your saucy story, it's not at all pathetic! I bet Matt enjoyed it too! Terrific fantasy, terrifically written! :D x x x x x

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  2. Oof! Rosie, Rosie, Rosie! This is so saucy and naughty and delicious! That lucky blighter of a fireman. I'm evidently in the wrong profession.

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