Some Days You Need A Bumper Pack of Elastoplasts

                            I love being a Dog Groomer and most days are great, full of laughs and nice people and lovely, lovely dogs . As we are almost always fully booked we generally deal with regulars, clients who have come to us for months, if not years. We know them well and we know their dogs too and any little fear or foible the dog may have is taken into account and the day goes smoothly. Of course, we do have cancellations through illness or other unforeseen events and so we have a "gap" and this is where we slip in the "new client" and begin, what we hope is going to be , another long and happy relationship ! So this was how, a few weeks ago, I came to be grooming two Polish Lowland Sheepdogs.                                    

The appointment had been made over the phone and when the owner dropped them off he did look rather "sheepish" , as well he might ! ( No pun intended ) The two dogs had obviously been attacked trained by the S.A.S and also there is some sort of unwritten law that the more "unfriendly" the dog, the more filthy and knotted it is .In fact this law probably  IS written in the Magna Carta because it is so carefully upheld !......................These two were no exception and their coats were knotted up to the skin and I couldnt even see where the coats ended and skin began ! ..............I mean, really, these were cruelty cases . they were very well fed but care doesnt end at feeding a dog . Some people dont realise the pain and distress a knotted and filthy coat  causes. They were so bad that I reluctantly decided they would have to be shaved off . We do not do this lightly, in fact I HATE  doing it , but needs must. .............I rang the owners and explained the situation. The chap had answered the phone and he said  "Do what ever you have to . I know they are in a mess ."                   

Well , I hate shaving dogs so much that I spent all day teasing the coat apart enough  to slide scissors in between hair and coat and trim the hair to about 1ins long .; which isnt much but it is infinitely better than  "down to the wood ". Remember these two are vicious as well so I was taking my life in my hands and getting bitten for my pains  (We do not like to muzzle) . The coat was coming off like a fleece, I mean you could have lagged pipes with the stuff or made a halfway decent  "sheepskin" rug !!  Then I bathed and dried them both and they looked quite cute with sort of "fluffy" puppy coats . They were really nice dogs when they werent trying to rip my throat out !! 

Once they were finished I phoned the owners and the chap said his wife would come for them . We were all pleased and excited thinking she would be impressed that we hadnt had to resort to shaving them and we were thrilled that they looked so cute ............Well  "Madam " flounced in, glanced at the dogs , glared at me,  paid the bill and , as I was trying to put their leads on  ( they were still determined to have at least 3 of my fingers off) , she said , " Well, my husband told me you were having to cut their coats off ..........but I didnt want them cut !   They are supposed to be long-haired dogs ! If I had wanted short-haired dogs I would have bought short-haired dogs !!!!!"  Then out she flounced !                

 I, to my shame said nothing . I just stared , open mouthed ! Then I went away and washed away my blood and applied various sized elastoplasts to various parts of  myself . Then we all laughed hysterically at her sheer bloody cheek !